halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
