So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
