that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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