THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
