this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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