just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize