corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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