it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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