So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
