this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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