i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
