It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize