I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
