everyone is single if you try hard enough
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
