2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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