omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"