Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!

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(561): Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir! http://tfl.nu/b2ab

Replies (18) Good night (2635) Bad night (510)
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(925): View more from California

is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?

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(925): is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong? http://tfl.nu/a78d

Replies (53) Good night (4753) Bad night (1347) Order T-Shirt
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(586): View more from Michigan

My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.

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(586): My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis. http://tfl.nu/m0vb

Replies (20) Good night (1017) Bad night (4314) Order T-Shirt
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(919): View more from North Carolina

When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?

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(919): When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate? http://tfl.nu/ayxt

Replies (24) Good night (694) Bad night (2750) Order T-Shirt
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(812): View more from Indiana

The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.

(317): View more from Indiana

Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.

(812): View more from Indiana

Ah, my reputation precedes me.

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(812): The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me. (317): Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around. (812): Ah, my reputation precedes me. http://tfl.nu/vl1p

Replies (25) Good night (1565) Bad night (4302)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?

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(563): I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful? http://tfl.nu/ij5q

Replies (24) Good night (3258) Bad night (3456) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.

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(314): Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us. http://tfl.nu/5cyi

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(203): View more from Connecticut

It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.

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(203): It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work. http://tfl.nu/tfd2

Replies (14) Good night (808) Bad night (3681) Order T-Shirt
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?

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(832): Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities? http://tfl.nu/5gd1

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(718): View more from New York

He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........

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(718): He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........ http://tfl.nu/befd

Replies (21) Good night (1715) Bad night (3321) Order T-Shirt
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(352): View more from Florida

Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!

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(352): Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?! http://tfl.nu/wryd

Replies (11) Good night (2319) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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(813): View more from Florida

I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.

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(813): I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa. http://tfl.nu/wwaj

Replies (8) Good night (678) Bad night (233)
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(314): View more from Missouri

That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.

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(314): That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu. http://tfl.nu/ssef

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.

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(401): When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train. http://tfl.nu/aqj1

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(530): View more from California

Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.

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(530): Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs. http://tfl.nu/m09k

Replies (2) Good night (1216) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt

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