God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now