Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"