Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.