Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
