ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
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This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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