they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
