just come out here and I will go home with you...
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize