Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
