I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
