I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
