Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
