There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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