If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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