Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
