he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
