you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
that may or may not have been my penis.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize