Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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