On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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