i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
