I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
