we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am mentally ready for anal.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
