Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
