ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
