Buhtt sex?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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