I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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