he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I wish there were birth control emojis
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Ladies don't puke and tell
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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