So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
