My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
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The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
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i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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