you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
