weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize