wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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