Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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