found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
