I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
