i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
