If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I would fuck him just for his dog
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
