carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
