OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
