Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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