Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
