I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
