So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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