the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
