Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
