it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
